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Why I need a wife

- I need a wife.

- But you're married.

- I know.

- You want a polygamous relationship?

- Nope.

- You're unhappy with your marriage?

- Not at all. I love my spouse. My spouse loves me. We have happy, intelligent children, a good house, and productive lives.

- Then why do you need a wife?

- Because I don't have one.

- So?

- I could use one. Trust me.

- For what?

- To take care of all the things a wife is supposed to take care of.

- Like what?

- Well. Laundry, driving, gardening, the car, the dog, the kids, the house, errands--

- You want a servant.

- Can't afford one.

- So you want a wife.

- Exactly.

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