acebauer (acebauer) wrote,


We're painting our bathroom. This is not momentous. The ceiling will be white. The walls, off-white. The tiles will not change.

But then the painter has a question.

"What shade?"

"Uh. . ."

"I'll be right back," he says.

I look at our currently white-verging-on-yellow walls. Why not this color, I think?

"These are samples," he says.

He shows me a small pamphlet with a dozen versions of off-white.

"Hm," I say. "I kind of like this one."

"I also have this pamphlet here."

He shows me about 40 more samples.

"I think I like the one from the first pamphlet."

"Are you sure? I also have the full color charts in the trunk. . ."

I begin to panic. I've seen those charts. Hundreds of version of white, off-white, near off-white, there-might-be-white-in-there, and pastels that verge on there-might-be-white-in-there. I take one look at the fanned samples and my vision blurs, my mind wheels, and I'm an indecisive mess.

Reinforcements, I decide.

"No, no. Let's consult with my best-beloved artist. She's great with colors."

She's also really good at figuring out when I've reached a decision.

"Well that's a warmer shade than what's on the wall now," she says, "but it highlights tones in the tiles. It'll make the room friendlier. It's a good choice."

The painter gives it a critical eye. My best-beloved is very good at painter-speak.

"The the majority has it," the painter says. "That one it will be."

Tags: humor, real life

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